Valentine’s Day tends to evoke roses, prix fixe menus in crowded restaurants and the quiet pressure to create romance.
But that framing might be more limiting than we realize.
If we’re honest, the things that make our hearts beat faster are rarely based in relationships alone. Curiosity does it. Conviction does it. Learning and creating can do it too.
When a Dissertation Loses Its Spark
Over the years, I’ve watched doctoral candidates fall in and out of love with their dissertations. Not metaphorically but quite literally.
Some Ph.D. candidates choose dissertation topics because they seem trendy, impressive or strategically “safe.” On paper, it all makes sense. But in practice, the student´s interest in the topic often fades. Sometime during the proposal development, enthusiasm droops like wilting roses. Progress slows. Doubt and procrastination creep in.
The work becomes something to endure rather than engage with.
Why Some Scholars Stay With the Work
On the other hand, other students have chosen a dissertation topic based on a deep and abiding professional and personal interest. These candidates are more likely to make progress and tend to sound quite different when they discuss their work. Their eyes sharpen. Their speech accelerates. They sound more grounded, more focused. They return to the project again and again, not because they have to, but because they want to. This isn’t by accident.
There is solid research showing that intrinsic motivation (sustained interest, autonomy and personal meaning) predicts persistence on long-horizon tasks.
Self-determination theory has demonstrated for decades that people are more likely to stay engaged when their work lines up with internal values rather than just external rewards.
In doctoral education-land, where timelines stretch and feedback is often intermittent, that alignment matters more than candidates expect.
The same pattern appears in studies of meaningful work and professional identity. When people experience their work as an extension of who they are (and not merely what they do), performance improves and burnout decreases.
This does not mean the work becomes easier. It means difficulty becomes tolerable. And therein lies the difference.
Valentine’s Day, at its best, is about heart-centric commitment rather than simply romantic spectacle. The decision to stay passionate and curious. To keep showing up because you genuinely want to.
If this season has you rethinking your relationship to your dissertation project, that’s useful information.
And sometimes, it helps to have some thoughtful dissertation guidance while you sort out what, exactly, stirs your heart.